May 2013
foreverstuckinsadness:
wheniswarped:
-annoying:
you can totally tell when someone has a tumblr just by looking at them or hearing the way they talk
it’s like a different race or something
But there’s people who have a tumblr and then there’s people who have a tumblr.
Exactly^
i cybered on omegle today
You: hi
Stranger: hey
You: wanna cyber
Stranger: Depends are you a girl? ;)
You: ya
Stranger: And okay then, you start?
You: i come into ur bedroom
You: and ur sleeping
You: and i crawl under your blanket
Stranger: I'm still asleep
You: u feel me pulling down ur pants
You: and u wake up and smile
Stranger: I kiss you gently, still sleepy
You: then i smile and open the scissors around your dick and snap them closed
You: cutting off your penis
Stranger: wait
You: THATS WHAT YOU GET FOR CHEATING ON ME
Stranger: Then what...?
You: I HATE YOU
Stranger: I didn't cheat
You: you bleed to death in your bed
Stranger: i didn't cheat on you. lets restart ok
You: nobody ever knows what happened
You: i flee to mexico with your Mercedes
You: the end
Stranger: I have a mercedes?
You: not anymore faggot
Your conversation partner has disconnected.
someonecalledmefamous:
mu5icliz:
germansam:
tokyosluts:
Sleeping is nice because youre not actually dead and youre not awake so its a win-win situation
It’s like being dead without the commitment.
an open relationship with death
death with benefits
Watch
nothipyet:
goblinparty:
I’m constantly torn between the ‘be kind to everyone’ and the ‘fuck everyone you owe them nothing’ mentalities
Hahaha
2 tags
mini-slashthegreat:
thepreciousthing:
adire-adire:
victorysunshine:
goldfish-kisses:
geek-in-a-box:
martiemcfly:
WHY ARENT THERE ADULT-SIZED PLAYGROUNDS
LIKE EVERYTHING IS THE SAME AS A KIDS PLAYGROUND
BUT BIGGER
WHY DO WE NOT HAVE THOSE
theme parks. just. theme parks.
but u have to pay for theme parks
that’s the adult part
son of a bitch
ladies and gentlemen, behold
...
flutterlings:
the whole yahoo/tumblr thing is rly just like when a single dad marries a new woman and the kids get rebellious and are like “YOU’RE NOT MY REAL MOM”
realmisfitwannabemsft:
bitchonce:
henryandhisbrain:
Dear Yahoo,
If you would like Tumblr users to like you, remove the post limit and word limit on messages.
If you place ads on our dash or charge for use every month, there will be a war. You have an army. We have a hulk.
Regards
Tumblr Users
If they make us pay I really will die
no we won’t… they will
Parents: Don't forget to make us proud
Friends: Don't forget to socialize
Teachers: Don't forget to get A's
Strangers: Don't forget to blend in
Opposite sex: Don't forget to look good
Society: Don't forget to be perfect
Tumblr: Fuck the world, they're peasants. At least you haven't murdered somebody today
Tumblr: But just in case you want to get away with it, here are some tips.
